How do you handle your life? How do you treat the people that surround you every day? How do you treat your friends? How do you treat your love? Is it all about contracts between us, or does altruismus exist? Is it all about giving and taking between two persons, or can one be independent from another?
I think contracts ruin everything that could be human. We need it in business, in education, etc... But there are no rules for human interaction: this is how you grow up, the influence of culture and how your personality absorbs the happenings that come along through your development. We are the mixture of our genes and environment.
It is usually not hard for a person to give, but what about taking? Think about it: are you happy if you can give somebody something? If yes, you should be also able to be on the other side and accept. Some people think this is a contract and that if they give, than they await, that the other gives something in return. This is a human convention, and in some situations normal. But do we think like this about our friends? What is the definition of a friend and another person, who we know only formally? Is there a difference? While waiting for a bus someone comes along and begs for few coins that he/she is missing for buying his/her ticket. It is obvious to help out (I am talking about real situation, not about drunks) and we never await anything in return. Because we believe in altruismus, whenever we are in the same situation, hopefully others will help us out, too. Why not? Few coins or a phone call, a lift doesn't hurt but gives a plus to our moral and also strengthens the human belief in sleflessness.
One thing I learnt from my grandparents is altruismus and empathy. They were never rich, rather poor, but I was the happiest grandchild in the world while growing up with them, and they were the happiest grandparents. Even that they were poor, they always found a way to help others, provide what they can and never complain, but be happy about what they have. I had a lot of health problems and didn't have a computer or gameboy, there were hard times, but I never had the impression of a bad childhood, rather that it was great and happy. They taught me with their behaviour and way of living the most important thing in the world: the human factor. I love them!! :-)
I do have a lot of experience being poor and happy and being rich and unhappy. It is never about the money, but about the people coming along and surrounding you. I don't say money or hard working, an obsession doesn't make happy, for some it may be the source of happiness. For each person it is different. For me it is the feeling of being independent and secure, having friends who never calculate, but just enjoy the company and are always there for you, when you need them. It sounds very simple and maybe common or vulgar, but thats it. I can't be happy otherwise. I can be selfish sometimes of course, I can be harsh, but thats never the underlying concept, everyone has good days and bad days, thats understandable. But after some time you learn others and see who they are really: happy, sad, selfish, mean, altruistic, claculating, possesiv, insensitive, loving, caring, nervous, relaxed, etc... You also learn what of these makes you happy and what not. If you are lucky, you can also recognize these things for yourself and make decisions according to that. I've been sometimes in quite shitty situations in my life because of such decisions and I never regret any on them, because I'd rather be a happy homeless than an unhappy in the bondage of human contracts.
